Reality Bites
by Ruia
Summary: Bit of a humorous, fluffy piece. Malik/Ryou. Watch and be amazed as they try to have sex and fail miserably. (Non-lemon)
1. Default Chapter

Title: Reality Bites

Author: Silvara Maxwell

Rating: R

Warnings: Sexual situations, yaoi (boy x boy)

Pairing: Malik x Ryou

Disclaimer: I don't own, so you no sue.

Reality Bites: The non-lemon

Watch and be amazed as Ryou and Malik try to have sex and fail miserably.

Malik pulled the other closer, tilting his head slightly to press a kiss to his mouth. Ryou made a soft noise, his kiss-swollen lips parting easily as he looked at Malik with hazy, half-lidded eyes. 

The blond Egyptian, for his part, was doing his best to keep Ryou as thoroughly distracted as possible. He went as slow as his sexual frustration allowed him, rubbing Ryou's back soothingly as he removed the white-haired boy's shirt, taking note of the small tremble that ran through his thin frame. 

Malik pushed him back onto the bed, settling on top of him and lavishing his exposed torso with open-mouthed kisses. He paused to suck lightly on the skin around the other's navel, then carefully brought his hands to the fastenings on the other's pants. With some trepidation, he began to undo the button and zipper holding them closed.

It was the moment of truth. Malik bit his lower lip and whispered softly to Ryou in Egyptian, trying to quell the nervous shudders he felt running through the other's body. After all, when one was nervous, one could not...

"Ryou, damn it! Not _again_!"

"I'm sorry! I can't help it!" Ryou's voice rose in a whine. He pulled back from Malik, drawing his knees up to his chest, and pouted.

Malik grit his teeth and tried to be patient with his currently sulking partner. "Ryou, I know you've never had sex before, but I _told _you I won't do anything you're uncomfortable with--"

"But I want this!"

"Well, you're never going to get 'this' if you get so damn nervous every time I come near your pants that you kill your erection."

Ryou sulked some more and retreated back to his previous argument. "I can't help it... It's not my fault."

Malik weighed his options at this point very carefully and decided to join Ryou. He crossed his arms over his chest and sulked. "Isn't there anyway for you to be _less _nervous?"

"...I don't know..."

"I've gone slow. I tried the romantic approach. I got you so damn horny that you jumped me. I've tried just about everything and nothing helps, gods damn it! I'm out of ideas!"

Ryou sniffed. "...You don't have to _yell _about it."

"Ryou, I've jacked off more times in the last few weeks than I have in my entire life. I'm horny enough to fuck even the gods-damned Pharaoh!"

The white-haired boy bristled. "You better not!"

"Don't worry. I'll _never _be _that _desperate... Ick." Malik eyed his boyfriend and muttered, "And I'm not that suicidal, either."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Hmph..." Ryou sighed. "Want to get some ice cream?"

"...Ryou... I don't eat ice cream, and you know it."

"Let me rephrase that, then. Want to go get _me _some ice cream?"

"...Fine. Come on."

Ryou smiled happily and stood up, fixing his pants and putting his shirt back on. Malik stood as well and followed Ryou downstairs, stubbornly managing to maintain his sulk even when faced with his cheerful boyfriend. He plopped down on the couch while Ryou went into the kitchen. Malik scratched his nose and thought for a moment, then slouched down into a more appropriate sulking position.

A few minutes later Ryou emerged with a bowl full of chocolate ice cream and sat himself down next to Malik. "Are you sure you don't want any?" 

The white-haired boy offered him a spoonful of the tempting treat. Malik eyed it hungrily, licking his lips, then forced himself to scoot down the couch a bit away from Ryou. "Do you know how fattening it is?!"

Ryou sighed and leaned over, teasingly poking Malik's stomach. "You're not going to get fat from one little bite of ice cream."  
  
Malik shot him a look and fondly patted his well-defined muscles. "I'm not taking any chances."  
  
"...You know, sometimes I can't believe how incredibly vain you are."  
  
"I'm not _vain._ I just like keeping myself healthy."  
  
"Fine, you like keeping yourself healthy. But how is brushing your hair exactly one hundred times every night while singing to it part of keeping yourself healthy?"  
  
"...I thought you liked my hair."  
  
"Do you really need to _sing _to it?"  
  
"You're just jealous because my hair is nice and soft and shiny, and yours is limp and lifeless."

Ryou pulled some of his hair over his shoulder and hugged it to his chest. "It is not! You take that back!"

Malik looked around once to make sure they were alone, then he stuck his tongue out at Ryou. "No!"

"...Huh...?" Ryou blinked at him blankly for a moment before he started laughing at the image Malik made.  
  
"Hey! Stop that!"  
  
Ryou giggled some more at his indignant boyfriend and managed to put his ice cream down on the coffee table. He curled up on the couch, clutching his stomach; he laughed even harder when Malik pounced on him and started tickling the boy mercilessly.

"Hehe... I'm s-s-haha-sorry!!" Ryou pushed Malik's hands away and squirmed around underneath him.  
  
"...Well, that's what you get for laughing at me."

"Mean."

"You started it."

"No, you did. You insulted my hair, remember?"

"Hm? ...Oh, well, that." Malik shrugged unconcernedly, then kissed Ryou lightly. "It's getting late. Shouldn't you be going to bed now?"

"...Don't try to change the subject."

Malik leaned up and kissed Ryou again, long and soft. The white-haired boy was flushed and panting slightly by the time he pulled away. "You were saying?"  
  
"What? I didn't say anything..."

"I thought so."

Ryou yawned lightly. "Bed sounds nice. Are you going to stay the night?"

"Of course. You're nice to sleep with. Squishy, like a stuffed animal."

Ryou swatted Malik's finger away as he tried to poke his stomach and stood up. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Hmph." He grabbed his half-melted bowl of ice cream and carried it to the kitchen.

"Suit yourself." Malik made his way back upstairs and towards the bathroom. He brushed his teeth with the toothbrush he kept at Ryou's house and washed his face.  
  
"All right, you're clean already." Malik rolled his eyes at Ryou as he prodded him out of the bathroom to take his turn. He went back into Ryou's room, snatched up his hairbrush from the dresser, plopped down on the bed, and proceeded to start brushing his hair.  
  
"One... two... three... four... five... six..." Malik switched to keeping count in his head and began humming softly.  
  
"What number are you on now?" Ryou asked as he walked in.

  
"Thirty-eight."

"Ah." Ryou pulled a pair of light blue pajamas out of his drawer and set them on top of the dresser. He started to undress, blushed faintly, then turned around and continued stripping.  
  
"Embarrassed?"

"No!"  
  
"...Hm... Have I ever told you that your blush extends to the back of your neck?"  
  
"What?!" Ryou slapped a hand to the back of his neck, then scowled. "You can't even see it! My hair covers it!"  
  
Malik laughed, and Ryou huffed. He scowled even more and glared at the wall, though it really looked more like a sulky pout. Completely ignoring Malik's wolf-whistle as he removed his pants, Ryou quickly changed into his pajamas.  
  
"Aw, dressed so soon?"  
  
"Stop that! You're so... so... perverted!"

"Hey, be nice. You're more perverted than I am! Just, most people don't know because you tend to be quiet and look innocent. I know the truth, though." Malik straightened up into an upright sitting position, looking knowledgeable.   
  
"I am nice. And not perverted, either." Ryou climbed onto the bed behind Malik and took the hairbrush, running it through his hair for him.  
  
"Mmm... Feels nice..."   
  
Ryou smiled at the soft, rumbling noises Malik was emitting. He was practically melting under Ryou's gentle touch in just a few moments. The white-haired boy leaned forward to brush a quick kiss over his cheek. "What number are you on now?"  
  
"Huh? Wha...?"

"Did you lose count?"

Malik sat back up straight and frowned. "Now I have to start over again!"  
  
Ryou sighed. "I'm sure you were around one hundred."  
  
"But what if I wasn't?"

"I'm sure you were close enough for it to not matter. Really."

"...But I don't want my hair looking like your-- Oomph! ...Was it necessary to throw a pillow at me?"  
  
"Yes. Now, let's go to bed."  
  
"...Fine." Malik stood and moved out of the way as Ryou folded back the covers on his bed. He switched on the lamp, then walked across the room to the doorway and flipped off the main light switch.  
  
"Thank you." Ryou yawned sleepily, and Malik smiled at him.

"...Adorable," he murmured.  
  
"Hm? Did you say something?"  
  
"No." Malik stripped off his clothes and folded them neatly. He placed them on the dresser so he would remember to throw them in the hamper in the bathroom later, then did the same with Ryou's clothes. Malik slipped into bed next to his boyfriend and pulled the covers over their bodies, keeping a fold of the sheets between their bodies.

"Good night, love." Ryou snuggled up to Malik happily, resting his head on the other's chest.

"'Night." Malik wrapped his arms around Ryou and kissed the top of his head, then settled down to sleep.

Please, review and tell me what you think and if you want me to continue!


	2. Chapter Two

Title: Reality Bites Author: Silvara Maxwell Rating: R Warnings: Sexual situations, yaoi (boy x boy) Pairing: Malik x Ryou Disclaimer: I don't own, so you no sue.  
  
Ryou moaned and tightly gripped Malik's sweat-slick arms. He urged the other on, lifting his hips slightly to take the other's arousal deeper into him. A soft whimper was emitted from the white-haired boy as he looked up at his lover, some vague, intact corner in the back of his mind thinking the other was absolutely beautiful.  
  
"Aah!" He let out a high-pitched cry and arched against the other as a sudden wave of pleasure crashed over his body. He was so close... so close... so very...  
  
"Nng.... mm... ah... Huh? Wha...?" Ryou squinted his eyes against the bright light and looked confusedly around the room. He rubbed his bleary eyes and blinked them open, propping himself up on his elbow to get a good view of the room. It took him a few moments to get his brain working well enough to process what was going on, then he promptly flopped back onto the bed with a groan.  
  
"Stupid... dream... Argh..." Ryou stopped and frowned slightly, then lifted up his bedcovers and peeked under them. "...Oh!"  
  
He looked over at his still sleeping boyfriend, then carefully started maneuver himself out of his pajamas. 'This is it! We're finally going to have sex! Whoo hoo!'  
  
Ryou tossed his pajamas away onto the floor, then slowly turned over, raised himself up on his arms and knees, and crawled over Malik's body. He feathered kisses along his jaw as he reached over to his nightstand. 'Where is it...? Oh, come on! I can't have lost it! ...No!'  
  
Biting back a groan, Ryou leaned over closer to the nightstand drawer to look into it. "Come on," he murmured. "I know it's-- Aah! ...Ow..." He sniffed and pouted, then sat up slightly to rub the sore spot he landed on.  
  
Malik rolled over, made a small noise, and scratched his nose.  
  
"...Still sleeping..." Ryou looked down at his crotch. "And still there! Yes!"  
  
Ryou nearly tore his drawer out of the nightstand in his quest for the lube, then finally found it sitting on top of it, right where Malik had left it during last night's tryst. "...Silly me."  
  
Picture of Malik's face scrunched up in pleasure firmly planted in the front of his mind, Ryou hopped back onto the bed and began to gently shake his boyfriend with one hand as the other trailed down to his crotch and started to stroke him into erection. "Malik..." he whispered into his ear. "Malik... Love, it's time to wake up..."  
  
After a few long, silent moments, Ryou frowned and began shake him in earnest. "Malik...? Malik!" He took a deep breath, mouth close to the other's ear. "MALIK!!"  
  
Malik snorted and jumped slightly, eyes flying open. "Huh? Who? Wha?"  
  
"It's time to get up, love."  
  
"...It's 6:45 in the morning! On a Sunday!" Malik groaned and closed his eyes. "I'm going back to sleep."  
  
"No! You can't! Look!"  
  
"Show me later."  
  
"It won't be around later."  
  
"...Oh fine, what is-- Oh my gods!" Malik stared at Ryou's erection in wide- eyed shock.  
  
"Sh! Don't scare it off!"  
  
Malik nodded and lowered his voice. "...You think it'll stay like that this time?"  
  
"Yes," Ryou said excitedly. He pointed to Malik's crotch. "And you're ready too!"  
  
"Okay, let's do it!"  
  
There was a long, awkward pause where neither of them moved. It seemed that, after so long, now that they were both ready, they didn't quite know how to begin. Finally, Malik huffed. "Damn it, I've been frustrated for too long!"  
  
He pulled Ryou down into a long kiss, morning breath and all, and rolled them both over so he was on top. He tried brushing his fingers through Ryou's hair, but it was so knotted that his fingers just got tangled up in them. After a few pained cries and a bit of tugging, he extracted his hands from Ryou's mass of hair and settled for running his hands happily over the other's naked body.  
  
Malik decided he loved the way Ryou responded to him and the soft little noises he'd make whenever Malik hit a sensitive spot. Ryou squeaked as Malik started to rock their hips together, and the blond-haired boy smiled a bit.  
  
Deciding he couldn't wait any longer, Malik quickly grabbed the lube and coated his fingers with it. He distracted Ryou with open-mouthed kisses over his neck as he positioned the other's legs and pressed one finger into him.  
  
"Mm..." Malik closed his eyes and shifted around excitedly. This was it; the moment was finally here. Ryou and he were finally going to have sex! Malik just barely suppressed a squeal of anticipation and squirmed around.  
  
"..Ah... mmm... Huh?" Ryou blinked slowly and looked down as he felt warm liquid suddenly cover his stomach. "...Malik!"  
  
Malik winced and looked up at him cautiously. "Um... Yes?"  
  
"How could you? We were finally going to do it and you... you... argh!"  
  
"Hey! It's not my fault! I was just... over eager, that's all."  
  
"But... but..." Ryou pouted. "We were so close!"  
  
"...I know, believe me, I know... Well, there's always next time, I suppose."  
  
"Next time...?" Ryou groaned and pushed Malik off of him, then crawled underneath the covers.  
  
"Ryou, love, come out of there."  
  
"No!" Ryou burrowed further under the covers, holding them around his body firmly. "I'm going back to bed."  
  
"What? Why? You're the one that woke me up for sex!"  
  
"But that was because it was sex. Now, we can't have sex, and it's early Sunday morning. It's completely different!"  
  
"That's not fair! I'm wide awake now, so you should be too."  
  
"Then go take a shower and brush your teeth."  
  
"Are you implying I smell?!" Malik did his best to look affronted.  
  
"...No."  
  
"That didn't sound very convincing."  
  
"Oh well."  
  
Malik huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "See if I ever have sex with you again."  
  
"Again? When did we have sex the first time?"  
  
"That's not the point."  
  
Ryou sighed and pulled back the covers. "Snuggle?"  
  
Malik thought for a moment. "...Fine." He laid down next to Ryou and pulled the covers over them.  
  
"...Feels nice." Ryou smiled.  
  
"Um... Do you want me to take care of... you know, down there?"  
  
Ryou shook his head. "No. It will go away... Just... don't do anything... you know."  
  
Malik nodded. "All right." He kissed Ryou's forehead and cuddled with him.  
  
"...We'll just take a short nap, okay?" He yawned.  
  
"Go ahead... I'll make you breakfast when you get up."  
  
"Thank you... I love you."  
  
"I love you, too. Now, sleep." Malik started petting Ryou's head, lousing him into a light slumber, then settled down to watch him. 


End file.
